Before there was Starbucks ...

So a Brazilian and a Cuban walk into a bar ... I mean - a restaurant. The Cuban goes, "Oye, why don't you order some coffee?" The Brazilian responds "Sure" - only to realize he didn't know how to. So the Brazilian began praying to St. Arbucks - but it didn't help. No Grandes, No Lattes, No Ventis - No pretty walls with printed urban landscapes, -No dimmed lights hanging from the lowered ceiling - No New York Times for him to hide behind - and worst of all NO T-mobile Wi-Fi for a quick Google check. So what did I do ... I mean ... "He" do ;) The Brazilain was embarassed but had to resort to the Cuban for help - and as a result he was lectured by the Cuban with a spanglish speech that began like this: Mijo! Before there was Starbucks, "existia" Cuban Coffee......

After three hours of "Coffee This, Fidel that" we finally ordered our Coffee. And you know what - it cost a buck !! So as a result - I've decided to educate my Gringo and non Cuban friends on how to order their coffee in South Florida. Please take notes...

Cuban Coffee 101

Cafe -(Kha-feh)
A straight shot of espresso with lots of sugar. Served in a small cup. Costs about $1 and comes with a free Cigar. Nah j/k

Cafe con leche-(Kha-feh kon leh-che)
A serving of mostly milk with some espresso. Prepared as ordered. Served in a regular cup with lipstick left from the previous customer. :)

Cortado-(Khor-tah-dou) - Literally means "cut" - half serving of espresso with another half of milk. Be careful when pronouncing since it sounds like a cuss word in some Cuban villages. You might literally get cut in that case.

Colada-(Kho-la-dah) - literally means "brew" - this is coffee at it's strongest form. Usually served in multiple mini sized cups by a 50 year old cuban lady with purple lipstick and a hair-net.


I would like to thank my Cuban friend iGor for educating me in the wonderful world of Cuban Coffee....... SEE YA AT STARBUCKS BRO!